


You Smile Wider When It's Not at Me

by iscreamforangst



Series: Smiling With Both Eyes Closed [1]
Category: Mystery Skulls Animated
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, I punch Arthur, Multi, No mystery sorry, Onesided Arthur/Lewis/Vivi (Mystery Skulls Animated), Pining, alot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:27:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27803815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iscreamforangst/pseuds/iscreamforangst
Summary: Despite everything, Arthur can't find it in himself to regret a thing.Not when it's what he's always wanted.
Relationships: Arthur/Lewis/Vivi (Mystery Skulls Animated), Lewis/Vivi (Mystery Skulls Animated)
Series: Smiling With Both Eyes Closed [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2035246
Comments: 28
Kudos: 102





	You Smile Wider When It's Not at Me

**Author's Note:**

> fun game: watch as my writing devolves as I crash from the sudden spike of motivation I had in the early hours of the morning
> 
> also, just to clear up some future confusion, in this fic ??? can't leave the cave and doesn't want to, it just likes to torment people

The day Arthur fell in love with Vivi was the day they met Lewis. Of course, he had already been harbouring quite the crush on her, but seeing her smile like that at the new exchange student pushed him straight into the real deal. He had never seen her smile so wide and bright before. It was beautiful. _She_ was beautiful. Arthur had known her for three years by now, so why hadn't he seen that smile before then? 

Lewis must've said something funny because suddenly Vivi was doubled over in laughter, tears in her sparkling eyes and pink on her cheeks. Arthur pushed that passing question out of his head to commit that image into his brain.

It was probably something rare anyway. 

* * *

It wasn't.

Vivi always smiled _that_ smile whenever they hung out with Lewis. Arthur couldn't even bring himself to feel jealous or spiteful at Lewis because when he was around it meant that he got to witness her special smile again. It meant that he got to feel his heart flutter and his cheeks warm and his head lighten up once again. And besides, Lewis was much too nice of a guy for Arthur to hold such a petty grudge for anyways. His presence was like a soothing balm to Arthur. He made Arthur's aching, anxiety bound shoulders relax, much like how Vivi's energetic nature chased away the paranoid thoughts from his constantly swimming head.

 _Besides_ , Arthur thought, watching Lewis offer him a (small) smile, _he's beautiful too._

The day Arthur fell in love with Lewis was the day he told Arthur he planned to confess to Vivi. Just as wide and bright as Vivi's, Lewis' smile nearly made Arthur's heart lurch out of his chest. Arthur could barely hear Lewis rambling on and on about his ideas on where to confess, and how to confess, and everything he liked about her because he was too mesmerized by that smile. Belatedly, Arthur realized that the reason Lewis' smile was so wide was because his eyes were unfocused and trained at a point behind Arthur's shoulder. He wasn't smiling at Arthur. 

Foolishly, Arthur told himself that maybe, they only smiled that way for each other. A smile reserved for your special someone. The thought was painful, but it was bearable. Arthur could live with that.

* * *

The day Arthur realized that their 'special' smiles were, in fact, their real smiles shattered him.

It was during their high school graduation where Arthur had seen it. He had shown up late, spending too much time prepping and trying to look his best for his two best friends, despite knowing that it wouldn't change a thing, sliding into the gymnasium an hour late only to stop dead in his tracks at what he saw. Vivi was dancing with a group of teens, _that_ smile was plastered onto her face and her laugh was loud and giddy and cut through the cacophony of celebration in the gym. Lewis stood off further to the right, talking to a teacher with a smile to match Vivi's own. Arthur watched as Lewis and Vivi eventually found their way back to each other, the smile on their faces never changing. He didn't know how long he stood there, barely moving, barely _breathing_ before they finally seemed to take notice of his presence and turned to him at the same time, both of their smiles dropping into the smiles he usually received. That unspoken accusation _burned_ as he turned and fled the school, running all the way home and crying until his eyes ached as much as his chest did.

Despite having given both of them his number years ago, neither of them called to ask if he was okay.

* * *

Arthur laid in the back of the Mystery Skull's van feigning sleep, in the hopes of hearing them talk _normally_. In the way they never did anymore when he was around. The plan worked, of course, it always did, but it still stung something bad in his already sore heart to hear the smile in their voices when they thought he wasn't listening. He knew he should've moved on right after high school. He should've taken the truth (that they didn't love him, that he was so clearly a burden, an annoying, jittery mess that caused and had more problems than solved them and-) and swallowed it. Distanced himself from them, when he so clearly wasn't even a welcomed friend and found people who could prove their love to him with a smile that they willingly gave. 

Vivi bounced in her seat and chattered excitedly about the successful case they just completed, Lewis' amused chuckle following suit, and _oh_ \- just imagining the smile they must both have on their faces did wonders on Arthur's love-starved heart. And how ironic was that? Arthur loving enough for two people but still, his heart ached for more? 

_Well_ , he thought wryly, _have I ever been anything but selfish_?

* * *

Feigning sleep once again on their next case, not even a full week from their last one, Arthur rubbed at the still healing bruise on his shin and bitterly wondered how much more physical and emotional pain it would take for him to finally suck it up and move on. Ever since graduation, it's been painfully clear that they don't want him around, the air painfully awkward when he enters the room. He knows he's only still around because they haven't told him to leave, that they're too kind to say no. Arthur supposes he only has himself to blame for that anyway. If he was pretending to like someone for all of high school only for that person to find out themselves in the worst possible way- well he guesses that he'd be pretty dang awkward and guiltily compliant to them too. 

Arthur was pulled from his thoughts by the van rolling to a stop and silently sat up. He'd been dreading this case the minute he overheard Vivi excitedly informing Lewis about it. A cave with an apparent malicious demon that was unafraid of possessing any who foolishly dared enter its domain? The thought alone was terrifying but staring at it in person gave him a bad feeling in the chest and he said as much too, unable to control himself. He immediately wanted to punch himself in his stupid big mouth though when Vivi froze and Lewis clenched his jaw shut, both of them realizing that he was awake. 

"You say that about every place we go to, ya big ol' scaredy-cat," Vivi laughed after a beat of silence (her lips were drawn tight and the joke sounded hollow).

"Besides, we'll be here to protect you anyways," Lewis added kindly (his smile twitched in the way a face does when its muscles are overworked and tired).

And Arthur, greedy as he was, took what he could get and smiled back in the way he always had for them.

_Real._

* * *

_When was the last time they smiled at you for real?_

Was the immediate first thought that crossed Arthur's mind upon taking his first tentative step into the cave. He ignored it, thoughts along those lines were common anyways. 

_Was their smiles_ ever _real for you? Even once?_

Now that was a question he asked himself nearly every day, and it was never very pleasant to linger too long on. A chill crawled up his spine, when did it get so cold? 

_How much happier do you think they'd be if you left when you had the chance?_

That wasn't his voice. He was sure of it now. Near identical to the usual thoughts that plagued him but it was so clear, so loud, so _c_ _ertain_. Whatever it was seemed to realize what Arthur just did at the same time and broke a dam deep in Arthur's mind, unleashing the torrent of thoughts and accusations that had taken Arthur years to reign into a controllable level. Drowning, he could no longer hear the difference between him and _it_.

_You've been a burden from day one, haven't you?_

_How long have they been suffering with you around?_

_I should've just left._

_Why couldn't they have asked me to leave?_

_You would've refused because you're too damn selfish._

_I take and take and take._

_They fit together perfectly and you couldn't accept that._

_Why am I so damn needy?_

_You pushed yourself into a place you don't belong._

_I-I can't help that I love them._

_And_ they _can't help that they couldn't find anything to love in y-_

"Earth to Artie!"

"Arthur? You okay?"

Lewis and Vivi stood in front of him, a fork in the path up ahead. Lewis had a worried tilt to his head and Vivi wore her signature pout, bouncing in place impatiently. Arthur immediately went rigid, praying it wasn't too obvious and dipped his head down to hide the crazed look in his eyes. He nodded.

His head stayed silent.

A minute later Arthur stood shifting from one foot to the other. His breathing was shallow and sweat ran down his face even though he was shivering, running his hands up and down his arms. He could feel each throb of his quickened heartbeat against his ribs. Lewis was just up ahead, teetering so precariously over a cliff that Arthur did not want to know how far down it led. 

His mind was quiet, suspiciously so. Now that he knew for sure that there was a demon in the cave, his paranoia had spiked through the roof. Where was it now if not tormenting him? What if it got Vivi? What if it forced Lewis to jump off that cliff? _What if it could help you get what you wanted? Wait-_

Unbidden, Arthur's body stopped shaking and stood up straight from his near-constant hunch. Despite Arthur's instinct to cry out in alarm or to feel his heart seize in a panic, no sound came out of his mouth and his heart actually slowed down to a normal rate. His body took a solid step towards Lewis and Arthur thrashed and flailed inside his own mind. Screaming at the demon that if he as so much as laid a _finger_ on Lewis he'd-

The demon, puppeteering Arthur's body with ease, slid up right beside Lewis and peered down as well, whistling. Jolting, Lewis opened his mouth to say something but the demon cut him off in Arthur's voice.

"I'll bet those stalagmites are even cooler up close. Wanna race down?" Arthur could feel his eyebrow raise and his mouth twitch up into a lazy grin and watched as Lewis' mouth twitched. Arthur, trapped in his own head, desperately cried out for Lewis to notice that he wasn't talking to the real Arthur. That something was amiss. Surely, they've known each other long enough? 

"You know I'm always up for a challenge, Art."

It was a good thing someone else was controlling his breathing for him.

Blankly, he watched as the demon raced Lewis down the other path and watched as it threw an arm around Vivi and watched as it smiled good-naturedly at his friends and watched as it could hold and keep their gaze and it _hurt_. He regrets coming here. He regrets not leaving the first time he bruised his arm and they didn't notice. He regrets not saying no for them and regrets not leaving when he had the chance. He regrets refusing to despise them for pretending that they at least _liked_ him.

He watches as the demon leads his friends up and towards the exit to the cave, making them laugh and brighten up in a way that he'd just painfully accepted could never happen if he was in the room. He regrets ever meeting them in the first place. 

The demon silently relinquishes its hold on Arthur as the three of them step out of the cave and back onto the loose soil surrounding it. Arthur wishes it would've laughed or mocked him as it left but knew it had picked the most painful option by leaving him with the knowledge that the only time he'd ever be able to make them happy was when he was possessed by a _demon_. He regrets ever trying his hardest for them. They never gave him a reason to anyway. Why was he ever stupid enough to love them in the first place? 

"Arthur!" 

Looking up to find a pair of smiles so wide and blinding and beautiful, it took Arthur a moment to recognize what exactly those smiles _were_ because it had never been directed at him before. Arthur feels his heart flutter, his cheeks warm, and everything but their _real_ smiles is pushed from his mind. Despite himself, he feels himself falling for them as hard as he had the first time. 

He takes it all back. If it was all the pain, the bruises, the tears that brought him here, to what he's always wanted? Then that was okay.

Arthur doesn't regret a thing.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed. This is my first ever fic for any fandom on any site and was mostly just for testing the waters so I'm very sorry for the quality. Byee.
> 
> ((Also this is a repost bc idk how tf to post properly apparently.))
> 
> Might make a part two idk my schedule is kind of packed with procrastinating and feeling bad.


End file.
